Swag Pigeon: The Bitch Chronicles Vol. 1
The Virgin Tyrannosaur
the virgin tyrannosaur!
praise be to the father,
the pterodactyl,
and the holy holy holy holy
Holy holy holy holy
For the first couple years
I heard the word “pregnant”
the image that came to my head
was stegosauruses
stegosauri
(it’s stegosauruses)
stacked on top
of stegosauruses
something about the combination of letters and sounds
stuck with me
for a while
holy holy holy holy
steg
uh
sore, us is
preg-not
pray-not
(holy holy holy holy)
Ye who takes people’s eyes
and replace their pupils with pictures of P Diddy
(his eyes are open wide enough in the picture you can tell
that there are pictures of Diddy in his eyes)
that is
actually whack
whack a hole-y holy holy holy
Suckbitch
How much dick
could a dick
suck bitch if
a bitch suck
could suck
dick
Swag Pigeon #10
Swag Pigeeeeon
I imagine I would be more dollar sign wag
if I wore more mustard yellow
and large flared lapel collared
the mustard at least, anyway
Roxanne
you don’t need to put on the
mustard yellow large-lapeled leisure suit
if you don’t want to
Anyway i would like to wear one
but alas
I am just an MC
and also a pigeon
a
Swag Pigeon
Swag Pigeon #9
Swag Pigeon
is not a Thunderbird
not a bird made of thunder
but a bird
made of swagger
and potential
to be a great rapper
if only he wasn’t
such a pigeon
Swag Pigeon
Swag Pigeon #8
Swag Pigeon
Sorry about that
everyone
I got really into Jewel
for like three, or, four months there
yes Jewel
the singer
such an amazing voice
anyway I’m back now
to lay down phat lines
and couplets
y’all.
No more Jewel albums
just hip-hop
I promise.
Swag Pigeon
Swag Pigeon #7
Swag Pigeon
her coke dealer boyfriend
made her move to LA
goddammit Lara
why are you such a tragic stripper
come over here
let Swag Pigeon put a fiver
in your G-string
just once more
one last time and make it all better
with a fiver
holding it with my left wing
Swaaaaaaaaag Pigeon
Swag Pigeon #6
$Ssswag Pigeon
I drink Cristal
out of birdbaths
and I’ll drink tanquerey
out of your girl’s ass
Swag Pigeon thank you
Swag Pigeon #5
Swag Pigeon
oh no
Swag Pigeon
don’t use gun violence
to keep your community down
Swaaaaag Pigeon
Swag Pigeon #4
Swag ($wag) Pigeon
I am
naught but
a pigeon
I cannot be a rapper
because I don’t tweet
I sing
burn
bitches.
@SwagPigeon
